confidence

     When I walk down streets, down hallways and up stairs, I unconsciously stare at people’s faces as they pass by. What interests me is not their features – although sometimes I do linger at the hairstyle or the eyes – but their attitude. Their walk, their stride, their consciousness of others; whether they look up or down, left or right, at people, at things, at the homeless person they briskly walk by, at the art signs and traffic lights…
Most individuals walk with their head down, and most groups walk in a bubble, ignoring the outside. The eyes lie anywhere from 6 feet in front to another world. Sometimes I get eye contact with the person walking past me; often we both look away, as if it were accidental and not meant to happen. Some eyes stare right past you, glazed over in order to concentrate on internal thoughts. Once someone looked at me and as our eyes met we both smiled. That was rare.
Oftentimes the walk will tell you what the eyes do not. I’ve often wondered if people care about how they walk – it defines character in a world where words do not exist. Fashion models do not just stroll onto the stage; they communicate through their stride. The walk creates an aura, a flavor, a color: cool is tanned green with a carefree relaxed look, while professional is symmetric straight navy blue. Quiet often has a nervous metronome, and distress, a frantic one. My favorite? The wastefully elegant cat walk. It leaks of confidence.
And, in the 10 seconds or so that you take to pass by strangers on the street, confidence is the only impression you can leave them with. Intelligence takes at least 10 words. Fun takes an activity; thoughtful and considerate, 2 minutes of face-time. Confidence you can wear and it permeates the air around you. It drapes you like a robe, which makes me wonder sometimes – can they see that I’m naked? Or do they just not look?
I like looking at people who walk by me on the road. Part of it is for observation and knowing where I stand on the confidence spectrum. Part of it is communication – I’m listening in on what people are saying by moving.
Mostly its because I want to become confident myself. By looking at others, I’m communicating that I am confident. Sometimes I fear the day when someone is going to call my bluff – when some superstar is going to meet my stare and give me a malicious grin that forces my eyes back to the ground. However, mostly I look forward to the day when someone sees my grin, and as our eyes touch, we smile.